Jesus, Here Is My Heart

My heart feels like bursting
nothing can truly express it’s cry
It groans as it recognizes the hurt
The pain is a signal
that I am not truly home
The sinful nature looks to this world and persuades me to find comfort there
I’ve been there too many times
No true satisfaction can be found
Not in relationships
Not in pleasure
Not in happiness
These things only last a moment
In their wake they leave hurt or even depression
People think that love is the center of life
But life is at the center of Love
To go outside of it
Or to stray away means to abandon hope and true comfort
That is why, like a fetter, bind my wand’ring heart to thee
My heart aches and groans for the Almighty, the Eternal, the King
No thing can possibly replace such joy
Nor can no thing last

Praise the One who made me alive
The very day that He died

I can't live a single day without you     
I don't even want to try                                      
And I won't take another step without your light           
I need your light
-Phil Wickham

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
-Psalm 73:25

In Christ Alone.

There is one thing I see constantly repeated throughout this life: it’s all about God. Marriage, driving, eating, friendships, fishing, baking, creating art, reading, listening, doing homework, sitting, breathing, living. It is all about God. There is nothing in this life that you can separate from God. Even sin plays its part for without it we would not have grace and the wonderful declaration of reality found in Romans 5:8.

Today has been a particularly difficult day. Words that describe this day are stressful, anxious, worry, confusion, pain. I’m sure that sounds familiar to everyone because everyone has days, weeks or even seasons like these. While my troubles are not of the caliber of a loved one dying or being diagnosed with cancer, they still bring tension to my life. All I wanted today was for someone to care. To ask how my day went and be genuinely concerned with my life.

I experienced something that isn’t new to me: people fail. I sought to be comforted by human hands and they failed. I’m not upset, mad or even slightly annoyed by those people because of two reasons. First, because people will always fail and I can’t expect them to be my savior in any manner. Secondly, It was a confirmation that I need to look to Christ to be my justifier and comforter. I love the image of Christ’s supremacy in Colossians 1:15-19:

The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.  And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

Though everything was given to Him, He cares for us deeply and loves us and that is beautifully displayed in Romans 5:8, but also in Revelation 21:1-5:

Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

That is beautiful and that is the hope I have to look forward to! Today, this is how I saw that it is all about God: humans (me) fail and cannot be where I lean and press into when I’m hurting or where I find my ultimate source of love. So I will daily surrender any hope I might find in what the world offers and in Christ alone will I find love, attention, satisfaction, validation and care.